Tuesday, November 24, 2009

"So Long As............." A Poem

"So Long As......................" ******** APoem. Views: 42
Nov 09, 2009 8:51 am "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Manohar Bhatia Hello,
I was reading an article in a newspaper,which started as:::::So Long As..... and then this poem came to me.

So long as the Sun,Moon,Stars shine,
So long as This,and This gives light to thine.

So long as,the heart beats everlastingly,
So long This,and This gives us retreat continiously.

So long as Love in the Universe permeates,
So long This,and This helps earthlings to procreate.

So long as Man & Woman love each other
So lond This,and This keeps Family to-gather.

So long as children play games without ashtrays,
So long This,and This keeps them away from cigarettes!

So long as Father & Son with each other are bonded,
So long This,and This will keep them grounded.

So long as the rivers are gently flowing,
So long This,and This helps crops slowly growing.

So long as M-Law & D-Law are united in understanding
So long This,and This will goad them to become M & D notwithstanding.

So long as there is thruthfulness in thought,word,deed,
So long as This, and This is the ideal life we need!

So long as your kite is flying in the air,
So long This,and This is your glider at the Fair!

So long as there are Poets in this world,
So long as This,and This is where Poetry will be created in this world.

So long as Death is at your door-step,
So long This,and This is your moment of truth for your last stop!

Manohar Bhatia



Private Reply to Manohar Bhatia Delete your post

Nov 09, 2009 10:05 am re: "So Long As......................" ******** A Poem. #

Diane Tegarden
Manohar,
this poem has a song-like quality to it, the refrain keeps you interested in coming back again and again.


BTW, we have reached a milestone....we just signed on our 300th member!

Hip Hip Huzzah the Bards!

Energetically Yours, Diane Tegarden
"Getting OUT of Limbo-A Self Help Divorce Book for Women";"Light Through
Shuttered Window- A Compendium of my Poetry";"Anti-Vigilante and The
Rips in Time"- available at www.firewalkerpublications.com and www.Amazon.com


Private Reply to Diane Tegarden

Nov 09, 2009 10:23 am re: "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Teresa Mahieu So long as you remain at Ryze,
So long This and This will keep me returning for more.

Loved your poem, it contains many truths and has a nice flow.

Teresa aka Tess
http://www.associatedcontent.com/tess1960



Private Reply to Teresa Mahieu

Nov 09, 2009 12:14 pm re: "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Jack Huber The couplets format and the repeated phrases really make a reader think. Well done.

Jack


Private Reply to Jack Huber

Nov 09, 2009 1:20 pm re: re: "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Maya Mahant hiya manohar, read your poem over and over again imbibing all the nuances. maya


Private Reply to Maya Mahant

Nov 10, 2009 8:12 am re: "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Ayub Bangroo
So many realities depicted,an enchanting and didactic one.


Private Reply to Ayub Bangroo

Nov 11, 2009 6:49 am re: "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Manohar Bhatia Hello,
Di:Your usual pat is always welcome!
Teresa:That's a nice one from you on ryze!
Jack:Couplet coping is interested to be commented upon!
Maya:Thanks a heap!
Ayub:Your encouraging words are a delight to read!

Manohar Bhatia


Private Reply to Manohar Bhatia Delete your post

Nov 13, 2009 5:11 am re: "So Long As......................" ******** APoem. #

Manohar Bhatia Hello,
I thank all of you who commented on the poem.However,on second thought,I propose to make a change in this couplet:::::::::::::::::::::::

"So long as children play games without ashtrays,
So long This,and This cigarettes them not to go astray!"

I have used 'cigarettes' as a form of verb;please correct me if I am wrong.Thanks.

Manohar Bahtia


Private Reply to Manohar Bhatia Delete your post


Previous Topic | Next Topic Bookmark Topic | Topics



Back to Wordmeisters, Poets and Writers-Unite!







Click here to invite a friend to Ryze and help grow your network!


If you have a question or need help using Ryze:
Please search the Frequently-Asked Questions page

No comments: