"The Concrete Jungle":::::: 2 complementary sonnets.

The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. Views: 44
Jan 18, 2010 5:04 am "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Manohar Bhatia Hi,
These are 2 complimentary sonnets that came in my mind and I wrote it down.The uniqueness of these sonnets is that each sonnet is dependant on the other to get the message.If you read only one sonnet,it has no meaning.
I do not know about this new way of poetry;perhaps Jack,Di,will be able to help me.

Well, here goes:::::::::::::

Sonnet No.I.

Far,far away in the horizon
I see an ugly concrete jungle,
cluster of skycrapers,high rises,towers,
each trying to compete and bungle,
laying waste all goodness
which Nature provided mankind,
The vanishing green cover,
of mangroves,salt-pans,lakes,ponds,rivulets,
providing protection against fierce storms,
devastating floods,hurricanes,tornados,earthquakes,
where environment takes a back-seat,
resulting in climate change to calamity
for melting mammoth glaciers,disappearance
of beautiful people,culture,tribes,art.

Sonnet No.II.

That day is not far off,
when sea-levels will rise,
people will be trapped in ivory towers,
when sunlight will be blocked,
When battle will be fought on WATER,
And WATER will be sold like gold,
When plastic will bring pain,
When TV will bring sickness,
When our gadgets will make us tired,
When rivers will flow backwards,
causing havoc,misery,to cattle,crops,afterwards,
When man will eat man,
And love flying out of the window,
over cuckoo's nest towards the rainbow!

---The End---
Copyrights@Manohar Bhatia
All rights are reserved.




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Jan 18, 2010 5:25 am re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

LC Very stark in message and imagery..makes one stop and think... Thanks for the read.


Private Reply to LC

Jan 18, 2010 9:25 am re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Diane Tegarden
Manohar,
I couldn't agree more with your future vision. In my sci-fi novel "Anti-Vigilante and the Rips in Time" the last of the world wars are called the World Water Wars. Armed conflict is now being conducted in many countries around the world about this vanishing and precious natural resource!

As for writing sonnets, we'll have to wait for our resident gentleman poet (Jack) to weigh in on the matter.

To the Dance of Life (while we still can)!!!
Diane T.


Energetically Yours, Diane Tegarden
"Getting OUT of Limbo-A Self Help Divorce Book for Women";"Light Through
Shuttered Window- A Compendium of my Poetry";"Anti-Vigilante and The
Rips in Time"- available at www.firewalkerpublications.com and www.Amazon.com


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Jan 18, 2010 10:47 am re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; analysis as requested #

Jack Huber Since I've been asked to weigh in, remember that the following comments have no bearing on the quality of your poems, Manohar.

They are not sonnets in the true sense, even though they each have fourteen lines; they do not follow any classic meter or rhyming pattern and the last couplet on each stanza is not a poignant statement or summation of the previous dozen lines. It is because of their final couplet that most sonnets do stand on their own, even if written in series. (This is not always the case, however, and you'll find individual sonnets by Shakespeare, for example, that do depend on other sonnets in their series to truly be recognized.)

I don't think I would label them as two sonnets, just as I wouldn't label a 21-syllable poem haiku, but you do have a remarkable two-stanza complete poem. You may even want to add other stanza breaks as well.

All-in-all, an exclellent piece, Manohar.

Jack


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Jan 18, 2010 3:46 pm re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Diane Stephenson Filled with a lot of food for thought. On the surface it seems rather negative, but when you contemplate the state the world is in, it is in fact very accurate. Thanks for sharing.

Diane


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Jan 19, 2010 6:41 am re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Maya Mahant Hiya Manohar,

So very dark, but so very true. Night seems so long and dawn so far away. Maybe the Kali Yug will have to end for the Satya Yug to begin!

Maya


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Jan 19, 2010 7:36 am re: re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Manohar Bhatia Hello,
LC::::: Thanks for your comments.
Di::::: We share a common view.
Jack::: Actually,when I wrote this poem,it was a 28 line poem.Then,I thought why not to break into a 14 line poem and this is when this sonnet concept struck me.I am still learning to write poetry;perhaps I should have concentrated more on meter to get a right sonnet.Thanks Jack,for a few tips.Yes,I can add another 14 line stanza.With regards.
Maya:::: Maya,this is what I feel and I have written so.

Manohar Bhatia


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Jan 19, 2010 8:06 pm re: re: re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Jack Huber Manohar, I wasn't suggesting your write another stanza. I meant that you could place another stanza break or two in your present 28 lines. They don't have to be equal in length for this type of poetry.

Jack


Private Reply to Jack Huber

Jan 20, 2010 5:29 am re: re: re: re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Manohar Bhatia Jack,
Thanks Jack,I have understood your suggestion.
Manohar Bhatia


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Jan 20, 2010 11:33 am re: re: re: re: re: "The Concrete Jungle"::::::::::::::; 2 complimentary Sonnets. #

Ayub Bangroo
Hi Manohar,
What ever you say is completely agreeable,unfortunately.We are fast losing our nature,in fact we are losing ourselves.Take the case of india the population has increased three times since 1940`s but the per capita availability of fresh water has come down six time!That is where we stand and many odd things look in offing.
Ayub